[]. Stay strong and stay No Contact. He follows her and her young nephews (a teenager and 20-something) on social media to see if their outing was held. Now it involves $3,000. More posts from r/NarcissisticAbuse Two weeks later, the ex began calling & texting for the next three weeks, several times a week. The male I spent 7-1/2 years with is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend and her brother-in-law and has been for nearly 25 years. Then we agree to have a LAT relation But he never visit me in my new home. Hugs and healing to you. If you have issues with this image being used, you should contact them. And make no mistake: the BPD will be laughing/orgasming with their Newest Vessel as you plummet to your death. And once I realised this was how my ex-friend loved me (oh they told me they did things for me out of love like telling me they had thought about getting me a present, but not actually getting it, not that it would have mattered because gifts are not my language i.e. First of all, because, as you know, no one can ever give you closure; you have to find it yourself. Told him he was a liar, manipulator, attention seeking narcissist. Well, other than her owing me money.lol. He begged for me to talk to him and not loose hope, promised it would never happen again and I ignored him. In my case, I realized I needed to put an end to the relationship a lot sooner than I did. I told to myself by Reading all those storys here i will never let him get to me like that and now he haves his way again. Firstly above all. Love yourself and you will heal yourself. He started distancing himself from me and going out late with friends, mostly girls.He withheld sex fro me often, to the point that we would have sex once every other month or 2 at most. She would tell me how things she did to me would make her sick to her stomach, etc. I pray for my healing from my husbands death and the death of the demon named quan . Hello: Thank you for your comment. I found that to be the case with me when I dug really deep. It killed him that I thought so lowly of him. He denied it for 9 months trying to convince me I was crazy. I was taking the blme for things i never did .I loved quan deep down in my heart . I have realised that I had The Narcs guy..He appeared on fb.. freinded and went all out to say he adored me etc.. then on to online erotica..bdsm ..he was coming to me in uk.. and what an amazing life we will have for years..I was so deeply in love ..he was the drug I had always wanted and boy he knew it..Then after online erotica no messages for a week or 2..the crunch came when I went to NYC..he was coming he could not wait for it.. yep guess what he never came to me..he went to local bar for the night.. he told people he was scared of me..wtf I think he did not want me to see the real him..and yes I found out he had other ff in waiting.. after 4 months of hell. Her house. So much of what you write about has happened to me and makes me feel that you are writing my story. {{HUGS}}, I have been with a narc or sociopath, I am still learning the subtlety of personality disorders. I keep seeking closure or caring that I know will never come. -Responding negatively to anything that appears to be an opinion different from their own (it is a sign that there is intent to not be supportive) Reading Suggestion: What is narcissistic Supply? It pissed him off enough to remove me from his list of contacts (I then blocked him completely so that he could no longer look me up). Thats because Terri was so controlling, and I knew that when I got home, Id be in some kind of trouble. Or when the narcissist gets in a new relationship, as a way of controlling their partner, theyll run down a list of all the things they didnt like about their former partner. Im worried he wants revenge. this is why its so important no contact, trust me I fell for it to the first timethen moved in with him and now my self estten is so bad because I have no whre to go to get away like I used to. That may be whats happened with you. Aside from that, he seems to have all the blue-print traits of a Narcissist and its very unlikely things will EVER improve. For them keeping you blocked is just a gesture of stupidity and childishness. You are correct- they are driven by the need to control- not the need to connect and love and help, things that inspire so many of us. In this scenario, it will manifest by doing everything in their power to get their partner to return, so they can get their revenge and end the relationship. So he tried to make me dependent on him. Brooke, he does that to keep you reliant on him. The narcissist will assess the situation to see which direction they need to take to worm their way back into your life. . I am a woman who has been in two abusive relationships and has alcoholic parents I fit perfectly into Robin Norwoods definition of a Woman who Loves Too Much. They are jealous & envious of YOU, they literally want EVERYTHING that you are & you have, including your SOUL This would make it easier for you to move on. I must commend you on your understanding of this personality type. We have two children together and he is a Deputy, his days with the girls are drop ins. On the night i realized i had been duped, deceived and manipulated for years, i had discovered pornography in his gym bagsubsequent to this raw finding, i had wondered why he spent so many hours in the gym? I think about you constantly and not in an obsessive way but in ways such as I wonder what would think of this? or I wish she could see this. or simply I need her right now. Need. Your articles give me the strength to keep going. It makes me want to expose her to her face and the world but i know silence is the best option. Dont even say yes if they ask you something. What I know is that narcissism really exists on a spectrum, although its easier and useful to think of narcissism as categories of individuals. Im going through the same exact thing, only difference is we have 2 kids together. And then I said to myself, you know what? Natural Remedies for Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorder. Now, he is not used to not having control. Everything in life happens for a reason, Im just glad i woke up before i ended up like the poor guy that has to marry that demon. Why was he not discarded as quick as me? She stated to me she had know idea what the situation was, but when she found out she was upset and removed herself from the situation. One man got more then the RO, btw also for her sleeping with their (his and hers) boss. We analyze to death just to understand. This was said after i declined his pathetic offer!! It is all a game to them We were promised for years what was going to happen at the end even split, but no. I cant take his shit anymore and Im tired of feeling violated and sick with anxiety anytime he calls or texts. Now i am living by myself. They have gained absolutely nothing by doing this to us Being the victim of narsasistic abuse is very tough. I got extremely frustrated with his ambiguous, incoherent behavior, his cavalier attitude and thought he was acting in a cowardly manner and told him so. My beautiful Dad went before her and she was changing Wills the day he died, even changed his whilst he was alive and got away with it! I have started talking to our daughter about NPD I need to protect her. Great insight about toxic narcissists! I would like to share my story in details but Im at work now and just wanted to say that myself too been in a relationship with a Narc for almost 2 years but recently discovered what exactly is wrong with her No contact now for 2 months and started to learn about narcissism and NPD in the past month. I left her and my main concern now would be what if she comes back to mefrom stories I read they always come back I dont know how I would proceeded depending on what she will say even though I learned about all the shady tactics and such.. Eden, I havent read all your posts.did you ever tell him he was abusive? Miserable and dependent on them! Thanks for all your support and encouragement. Perhaps being in two different countries helped in protecting me from worse manipulation (and perhaps seeing how ugly his behind-the-scenes is). Eden and tiredofliars8, WOW the idea, that he is possibly the BPD (borderline) came to me while I was reading the story. Even if I do not go to prison or die, there is nothing to support my family and that nothing can be changed. Its difficult to comprehend that the person I was with was an imposter. And they are right. Anyway, Saturday, I get two texts; the first one was Good Afternoon. Just to demonstrate I am including a note from my ex too. Telling them they are a Narc does nothing but enrage them. I think one of the biggest reasons she has been so hard to get over is that she was such an enigma. My N left me for her boss. I moved to dayton , ohio met a narcassist named quan i am a widow he sought me out . Do narc do stuff like this, get you ready for their return by leaving clues like that? Now I want to sell it because he left me with no income or support and I was thinking of moving out of state and its no longer mine. I wish it where not. Dont know, if I should/can say youve been lucky. I dont understand why he really doesnt leave me . Hi Taniel. Yes I did tell him i know he is a narc and i also told the girlfriend that she is in triangulation and she defended that of course, cause she thinks he is wonderful to the point where she told my children that failure of marriage was my fault. My ex accepted this and was viewed as a saint by my family. Your ex WILL contact you again. Your ex-partner may not even know. She said, you know he is with a new lafy with kids lol. He was taken aback. I new no one in dayton new to the area married for twenty eight years grievieng hard . It was like I dropped off the face of the earth. Just like in your situation, I was blamed everything she did to me. I just need to share this as I feel lost sometimes, but on the right path.I wanted to share this, as I am scared of my ex. He wanted just me etc. Are they capable of friendship? Get better at playing his game than he is. But I was just holding on that last bit of connection to him by seeing it as some romantic gesture. But his behavior was escalating and I was then suspicious of it, this is when affair was discovered. However,researchsuggests that when a person is going to kill themselves, they dont talk about it; they just do it. I totally expected the ex to call back and bitch but he didnt. He said no I came to kill you, I was like what? The answer lies in how narcissists apparently view relationships. Never did it occur that I would, but heres my advice: Dont attack. By this point, hed been trying to call/text for four weeks, why not send a letter? The only reason why they would want their ex back is that they know theyre an easy source of supply. As I read it, many common themes emerged. Some days i feel better and laughing again. I'm afraid I'll forget her. She cant get back at them specifically, so she picked you instead. It never feels over! I dont really understand why its so easy for her to just up and leave. You are so right, Eden. He is sick and will not stop I do not know how to stay away when my daughters and yes me would do anything for him to change. No wonder why everyone seemed to be going in circles including myself. Im sure the new girl has questioned him about this and of course they can spin it to look like you were the b-tch all along or that you are jealous of his new love but one day she will see the truth and my guess is she has already and will be adding 2 and 2. I was only with my ex for four months, continued being friends with her the next eight months, and I am still suffering psychological pain from the incident. These people do need to know they cant always get away with their cruelties. The intention of the N now is to quickly reinvent himself - like a . They wont ever leave if we do. My ex treated me like a queen when he wasnt being a crazy maker but I knew something was terribly wrong. Is that she was such an enigma me out much of what you write has... Ex accepted this and was viewed as a saint by my family and that nothing can changed. A person is going to kill you, I have started talking to our about... Better at playing his game than he is a Deputy, his with... 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