Mr. Beetlejuice, since we met, you have pinched me, and groped me, and harassed me, sir, and I wanna tell you, in front of all these people, that it has worked! CHARLES: Thats because Im trying to Delia, do your job please, life coach her. BEETLEJUICE: Get in there Babs! All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. This is what you get! Use their user talk pages. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah. This is such an interesting font! You know? Shes definitely done some stuff, I can tell. MISS ARGENTINA: Oh, but you have to go back now. Is that an old book? Lydia, I know you wont let me down. What does that mean? I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! THIS CRIB IS TOO PRECIOUS FOR PLACING A BABY INSIDE IT, YOUR SENSE OF PERFECTION IS JUST A REFLECTION THAT, YOU ARE NOT MENTALLY PREPARED TO MAKE ROOM FOR A KID. Its either me or the booze. And shed be like Well, then I choosethe booze. The point is, we just got rid of your dad, and we were having SO much fun together! ADAM: That guy! LYDIA: It could be both. The gross-out ghost from the supernatural Tim Burton comedy 'Beetlejuice' sings and dances in this splashy Broadway musical starring Alex Brightman as the demonic degenerate and Sophia Mmmmmm, yes! (a beat.) Where are you? This house is haunted! Im sorry I just couldnt help myself. I think I really captured your essence. LYDIA: Wow, this is going to be such an interesting night! You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! This is gonna be great. Dont you get it? BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! You died together. And here we are sneaking around like two teenagers at a church picnic. Okay, chapter one. It has u but doesnt have a me. ADAM: Oh! All you gotta do is say my name! this hilarious musical tells the story of lydia deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing . But heres the good news! He was fast! LYDIA: We gotta get out of here! Do you think you would mind leaving and never coming back? /Say my name/. Source: www.enca.com. ADAM: Wed love it! Find some interesting quotes from when she felt alone here, they will make you think! Mom? BUT NOTHING'S A CHORE WHEN YOU'RE RESTORING, APART FROM FRUSTRATION, PAIN, AND FINANCIAL DRAIN. ADAM: I gotta say hun, were lucky. JUNO: Report to processing! Now heres the problem. CHARLES: That demon with the stupid hair, hell be waiting for us. BEETLEJUICE: I'm sorry, you're giving me advice? I am angry! (MOVERS move in furniture.) I havent always been such a good mother. ONE DAY YOU MAY WAKE UP ALONE, DELIA: 'CAUSE YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS BOYFRIEND BOUGHT A BOAT AND THEN THEY SAILED AWAY TO ROME, DELIA: SO YOU CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP IN DEEP DESPAIR, TALKIN' TO THE WALLS 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE THERE, 'CAUSE THAT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO HAVE A FAMILY, THAT YOUR AGING ASS WILL HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT , A LITTLE "I AM STILL YOUNG!!!" JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. ADAM: What is that? BARBARA: Excuse me, this is all happening very fast, we just died and now youre here, and now theyre here and-. And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. And if not, we're adding more every week so if you don't see one you like, keep checking back! Scouts honor, but that books got a lot of dangerous stuff in it. MISS ARGENTINA: DID YOU EVEN READ THE HANDBOOK? And Ive got a plan. Every success begins with sucks and ends with yes. Is that why youre wearing those sheets? BEETLEJUICE: YES ADAM! Lydia is injured at work but the Ghost with the Most decides it's his job to take care of her which starts to bring Adam and Charles around on the terribly suited relationship. I dont wanna die! LYDIA: I dont wanna forget about her. But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? Now normally, I would use a plumbline for this, but Im not too shabby with a freehand. Its time for Americas favorite game show! DELIA: AH! Please, dont spin the wheel! Delilah BEETLEJUICE: We didnt hang out much, Charles! CHARLES: Lydia! Bu BEETLEJUICE See, this is what life is. We will just have to do this without her. Thats why Ive been trying so hard to build a new one. So if you wanna save Barbara, then I need you to marry me! I thought these were twin sheets! . NOW LETS SKIP THE TEARS AND START ON THE WHOLE YOU KNOW, AND IF I HEAR YOUR CELL PHONE RINGING, ILL KILL YOU MYSELF, BEETLEJUICE: YOURE, YOURE GONNA BE FINE, DIE, YOURE ALL GONNA DIE, YOURE ALL GONNA DIE, YEAH, I KNOW YOURE WOKE, BUT YOU CAN TAKE A JOKE HERE, AND EVERY SHOW I DO LIKE A TON OF COKE HERE, BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, ENSEMBLE: DEATH IS TABOO, BUT IT'S HARDLY SOMETHING NEW, THERE'S NOTHING MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS CAN DO, BEETLEJUICE IF YOU DIE WHILE WATCHING THIS PERFORMANCE, THE SHOW WILL NOT STOP, AND ON A CERTAIN DATE, THE UNIVERSE KILLS YOU, SO, HOW BOUT WE ALL MAKE A START (DIES IRAE! And I fear for my safety around you. Because dead or alive, you dont got somebody who really gets you, then youre going to feel lonely and worthless and youll never reach your goal weight because you eat when youre sad this guy knows what Im talking about. Now, we have two days to transform this old house into the flagship model home of my new gated community. Yes, Beetlejuice, THE MUSICAL, which opened on the Great White Way on April 25, 2019 and closed, due to the COVID-19 pandemic on March 10, 2020, and reopened on April 8, 2022 permanently closed . I wanna go home. I study death, I think like death, I spent a long holiday weekend in a Red Roof Inn with death! ), BARBARA: MAITLANDS 2.0! Dont you remember when we moved in? So! (BEETLEJUICE does the same to ADAM. . And he gave me this. Please, forgive me! And yet, I worry. BEETLEJUICE: Please dont make me beg. BEETLEJUICE: Exorcism. The musical may still be called Beetlejuice; but, this time around, Lydia's the star. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, nope, thats the wrong card. New phone, who dis? Thats why youre here. LYDIA: What are you talking about? BEETLEJUICE: Wow! BARBARA: I was too! We used to make the haunted houses in the garage, but, in the summer so no one expected it. BARBARA: Wait, what? The fact is, shes been having a hard time since LYDIA: Oh father! AND Im from New Jersey! CHARLES: Lydia, in twenty-four hours, Maxie Dean will be here to have dinner with our family. What are you talking about. CHARLES: Except brains. CHARLES: Oh yes, Lydia, she uh, Im afraid she wont be joining us. 24m. Lets spin the wheel. Lydia stopped short in the doorway, then began to laugh. So lets scare my dad! BEETLEJUICE: Quick! "Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.". ADAM: Okay, that Wasn't as much fun as I thought it'd be ADAM: We are not kombucha people. AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY MY NAME THREE TIMES. You are the sun. Go ahead and jump but that won't stop him. BARBARA: Adam, I dont think we survived that fall. I changed a lot. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wild "ghost with the most" from the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. Rule number two: every new ghost gets a tote bag! DELIA: Doubt. Youre all going to die. BEETLEJUICE: NO, WHAT FILLS YOU WITH RAGE? GIRL SCOUT: Okay Well- Maybe I should come back another time when your parents are home? Lydia doesnt have my resilience. You were so desperate for somebody to love you that you act like a damn fool. DELIA: Oh, shes so stubborn, I just need more time. CHARLES: -Not good for Lydia. (Instrumental with screams layered as BEETLEJUICE is unleashed.). BEETLEJUICE: WOO! Maxie Dean loves shrimp! Drink it, or throw it out! Girl, just say it three times in a row. OH GOD! This guy knows what Im talking about, I gotta get out of here! Ive already been to hell and back. Theyre made out of the devil! It's not about that. (more chase.) We have a dinner to plan, a house to redecorate-. Thank you for being here. CHARLES: Delia, you erotic astronaut! LYDIA: Yeah, you look like a bloated zebra that a lion ripped apart and then didnt eat because there was obviously something wrong with it, so it just rotted in the hot African sun. Everything was the way it used to be. And that is exactly how we can beat him. Look, I know things have been difficult-. NO! BEETLEJUICES: ALL WE WANNA DO IS HEAR THAT SOUND. ADAM: Woah. invisible nd you can change all of that. God, you know, your mother knew this was going to happen. No one is like me! Video Examples. It bridged the cultural gap between the cult movie and the studio movie, making a genre-movie quirkiness acceptable to the mainstream." New York Times film critic Glenn Kenny 3 Call 9-1-1! This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only. I will, I just, OKAY FINE I WILL. ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. Welcome to the family, son. Draw a door, go home! ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! Where are you going? Otho : [while Lydia shows them the attic] Fabulous. I dont remember making a fire. Im not going anywhere! And I'm just Hamlet going insane. April 25, 2019. LYDIA: Then Ill find a way to do it myself. Dad, n-no you cant do that. (a beat.) CHARLES: LOOK AT ME! Tagged: Rhymes, Juice, Loose. LYDIA: Youre scared of everything! Beetlejuice is a musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King.It is based on the 1988 film of the same name.The story concerns a deceased couple who try to haunt the new inhabitants of their former home and call for help from a devious bio-exorcist ghost named Betelgeuse (after the star; the name is pronounced and often spelled "Beetlejuice"), who is . Im gonna find my mom! CHARLES: I am very good at sex. What do I always say about doubt? GET OUTTA MY WAY. However, there was no reasoning with the spirit, but Adam and Barbara had a slight advantage in the fact that they weren't stuck in Adam's miniature town. Beetlejuice Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. Unless, are you horribly disfigured? DELIA: AHHH! And the teacher was Wiccan! Own that. Delia! I didnt like strangers when I was alive. LYDIA: I cant open it. Beetlejuice : I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. Not answering! And the people who live there, Ive been watching them for a while. ADAM: You don't like this stuff? (exits), BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE ME, I VANISHED LIKE A CLOUD OF DIRTY HIPSTER VAPE, LYDIA: By the time you read this I, Lydia Deetz, will be gone there's nothing for me here I'm alone, forsaken, invisible. JUNO: I shouldve guessed youd be mixed up in all of this! If I had known. Let me point you to the right page. We are invisible. Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. And that makes me feel oh god, I actually feel! MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! (a beat.) LYDIA: Adam, Barbara? BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! I asked you to send me a sign. MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: Your not invisible when you're me! LYDIA: Mother nearest, heart how dearest. BEETLEJUICE: Well, it doesnt matter if you say it Adam, THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE! That was an old Scandinavian folk song. BARBARA: Lydia, why did Beetlejuice give that to you? BEETLEJUICE: Oh, Babs, I would LOVE that. Love is love. BARBARA: You were right. New York, NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020. I cancelled the exorcist, and Ive hired someone better. CHARLES: I see! "Spirit" in Fantasy Monologues for Young Actors . LYDIA: Yeah, you said Stop acting so weird, I need this job., DELIA: No! Thats a neat trick. You smell like the bathrooms at the Mandarin Oriental. We only provide suggested audition monologues or songs for an individual character if our system finds content that matches a character's traits. I accept you. OO! Also, one of your wine glasses is poison! OUR TROUBLES ALL ENDED ON THE DAY THAT WE BEFRIENDED HIM. . Barbara, its like one of our classes! Betelgeuse , Beetlejuice. Live a life of love! ADAM: I dont mean her, I mean her family. Oh, my God! CHARLES: Im glad you like it. BARBARA: This is the first nice moment weve had sincesince we died. OH! Yes, its been very creepy. BEETLEJUICE: I mean you literally jumped into hell to get away from me. 119. Chuck, I never leave home without them (he and MAXINE erupt into laughter.) Lift with your back! Dad, please. YES! Dad theres ghosts! MAXIE DEAN: I was never gonna invest in your stupid "gated community." Delia? From an outfit standpoint, her clothes launched the mood boards of many goth girls. You'll know that I've abandoned hope. Beetlejuice is a musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King. Sometimes puppet shows are sad. BEETLEJUICE: Nothing, so your dad wants to suck me into this fancy box. AGHHHH, ADAM: HOLD ON ONE DAMN MINUTE! ADAM: Oh, dont worry, Im gonna have this crib ready before that baby gets here! Now, to the Prius! This is exciting! BEETLEJUICE: The people who bought your house! Welcome to MsMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dance Scenes in '80s Movies. Adam, wanna do the honors? You brought him to life, just so you could kill him? Act I 1. The Maitlands: More Boring Than Brigadoon Thats right, I said it. To be her what do you call yourself again? LYDIA: Hey Maybe we can help each other. But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. Oh my god! The script was . In a haunted house, all alone! BEETLEJUICE Finished? LYDIA: Excuse me, are you ghosts? DELIA: Why say doubt, when you can stop at do. I know that my name's on the marquee, but youre going to have to watch a new show. Id like to meet my fianc, Delia. More about Lydia . I designed it to reflect wealth, sophistication, and above all-. This is the first nice moment Ive had since I got here. (chuckling.) CHARLES: Lydia, you have moped around for months, dressed in black, obsessing about death! OTHO: (offstage.) Can you believe that? Well, we can take care of that. BEETLEJUICE: I am not Wiccan, and that is nothing like this. I had a vision once. We mostly just watched and drank wine. Both movie and musical have the same bones, yet there are many differences that change everything from minor details to major motivations. GIRL SCOUT: THIS IS IT THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, WISHING, HOPING, WORKING, AND PRAYING FOR, THE DAY MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN DELAYING FOR YEARS, IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT THAT THEY'RE OVERPROTECTIVE, I WAS BORN WITH ARRHYTHMIA MY HEART IS DEFECTIVE, ONLY TAKES ONE SHOCK AND I COULD BE DEAD FROM THE FEAR, THE GIRL SCOUTS HELPED MY HEART GROW STRONG, THEY'D HAVE MY BACK IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG WITH ME, DISTRACT ME FROM THE FACT THAT MY HEART COULD STOP. TAKE YOUR PLACES I WANT SCARY FACES NOW GO! The Tony-nominated smash Beetlejuice played its final performance on March 11 at the Winter Garden Theatre. Except her. BARBARA: THEN THERE'S THE WHOLE DARN ECONOMY, ADAM AND BARBARA: READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP. BEETLEJUICE: (sinisterly.) Here goes nothing. DELIA: Oh! LYDIA: I have a mother! Some things work better in the movie, some work better in the musical. JUNO: Oh, Lawrence, that was beautiful. ADAM: What other choice do we have? LYDIA: Perhaps thats because I myself, am strange and unusual. So goodbye . LYDIA: Does it say anything about summonings or seances? JUNO: My name is Juno! Theyre chasing me! we have to go home! About the future. WE'RE MORE THAN DETRITUS WE'RE FINALLY ALIVE! Step right up and lets play a game that I like to call RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!. So kinda like this. AHHH! My name THREE TIMES in a Red Roof Inn with death many goth girls of wine... Finally ALIVE for an individual character if our system finds content that a. That SOUND job., delia: why say doubt, when you 'RE giving me advice teenagers! Matches a character 'S traits I think like death, I spent a long holiday weekend in a.. Job., delia: Oh, Babs, I said it to love that... Be called beetlejuice ; but, this is going to happen wine glasses is poison anything about summonings or?... It on, what if your mom shows up instead out of here and Anthony King ; let & x27. 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